Motherhood, Business, and Learning to Give Myself Permission to Slow Down
When was the last time you allowed yourself to stop?
Not because everything was finished. Not because your to-do list was empty or because you had finally achieved everything you had set out to do.
But simply because you needed to.
I’ve been asking myself that question recently, and if I’m being completely transparent, I don’t think I’ve been very good at giving myself that permission.
As a mother of five, a wife, a doula and a business owner, there’s always something happening in my world. Whether it’s supporting women through pregnancy and birth, working behind the scenes on Mamacub Wellness, being present for my children or simply keeping up with everyday family life, there’s rarely a moment when there isn’t something that needs my attention.
And for the most part, I love the life I’m building.
I love being a mother. I love the work I do. I love having goals and creating something meaningful that allows me to support other women.
But I’ve also come to realise that sometimes, even the things we love can become overwhelming.
And sometimes, we don’t recognise just how much we’re carrying until we finally put some of it down.
Two Weeks Away From the Noise
I’ve recently returned from two weeks of school holidays, and this time, I made a conscious decision to step away from work.
Not partially.
Not with the intention of squeezing in a few hours here and there.
I genuinely wanted to put my business aside and be present with my children.
I wanted to enjoy the school holidays without constantly thinking about what needed to be completed, what content needed to be created or what I should be working on next.
And I have to say, it was exactly what I needed.
During those two weeks, I was also supporting family members who were navigating some difficult circumstances.
Life doesn’t always unfold the way we plan, and sometimes the people we love need us to show up for them.
While those moments came with their own challenges, I found myself feeling incredibly grateful.
Grateful that I could be there.
Grateful that I had the flexibility to put other responsibilities aside.
And grateful that the business I’m building allows me to make those decisions.
But it also reminded me of something important.
The flexibility of running your own business is a blessing, but it also comes with the responsibility of knowing when to step away.
Because when you’re the person behind everything, stepping away often means things simply don’t get done.
And learning to be okay with that has been one of my biggest challenges.
Building a Business Around My Family, Not the Other Way Around
One of the reasons I chose to build Mamacub Wellness was to create a life that allowed me to be present for my family while doing work that I genuinely love.
I wanted flexibility.
I wanted purpose.
I wanted to support women in a way that felt meaningful to me.
And I wanted to create something of my own without sacrificing the parts of my life that mattered most.
But somewhere along the way, I think I started placing more pressure on myself than I realised.
There were always new goals to reach, things to complete and ideas I wanted to bring to life.
And when you’re passionate about something, it can be incredibly easy to convince yourself that you should always be doing more.
More learning.
More creating.
More planning.
More growing.
But at what point does that constant desire to move forward start taking away from the very life you’re trying to build?
That’s a question I’ve had to sit with.
Because I didn’t start my business so that my family would have to work around it.
I started my business so that it could work around my family.
And while I know there will always be seasons that require more of my time and attention, I don’t want to lose sight of that.
I don’t want to become so focused on building a future that I forget to enjoy the present.
When Something You’re Passionate About Starts to Feel Heavy
Over the past few months, one of my biggest focuses has been creating my birth education courses.
And if I’m being completely open, course creation has challenged me more mentally than almost anything else I’ve done within my business.
Which is interesting, because the work itself is something I’m incredibly passionate about.
I love birth.
I love supporting women through pregnancy.
I love sitting with an expectant mother and helping her understand her body, her choices and the options available to her.
I love watching a woman begin to recognise her own strength and confidence.
Being present in those moments is something that comes naturally to me.
Of course, supporting women through birth can be physically and emotionally demanding. There are long hours, unpredictable circumstances and significant responsibilities.
But it fills my cup.
Course creation, however, has been an entirely different experience.
It has required me to step outside my comfort zone in ways I hadn’t anticipated.
I’ve had to learn new skills, organise my knowledge, structure lessons, record content and navigate the technical side of bringing everything together.
And while I know the end result will be something I’m proud of, the process has taken a toll on me.
Not necessarily because the work is too difficult, but because of the mental pressure I’ve placed on myself to keep progressing.
Even when I wasn’t physically working, my mind was still there.
Thinking about the next module.
Thinking about what I hadn’t finished.
Thinking about everything I still needed to do.
And sometimes, that mental load can be more exhausting than the work itself.
I wonder how many other women experience this.
Maybe you’re studying while raising children.
Maybe you’re trying to return to work.
Maybe you’re building a business or working towards a personal goal.
Or maybe you’re simply trying to manage motherhood while holding on to the dreams you had before becoming a mother.
Whatever it looks like for you, I think many of us know what it feels like to carry responsibilities that never seem to switch off.
And sometimes, the pressure doesn’t come from anyone around us.
Sometimes, we’re the ones placing the greatest expectations on ourselves.
Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves?
This is something I’ve been reflecting on quite a lot.
Why is it that we can show so much understanding and compassion towards other women, yet struggle to offer ourselves that same kindness?
If another mother came to me and said she was exhausted, overwhelmed and needed some time away from her responsibilities, I wouldn’t hesitate to encourage her to take that time.
I would remind her that she’s doing her best.
That she deserves rest.
That she doesn’t need to have everything figured out.
And that taking a break doesn’t make her any less capable.
But when it comes to myself, I haven’t always been so understanding.
I can be incredibly hard on myself.
I set goals, create expectations and put pressure on myself to achieve them.
And when things don’t unfold the way I’ve planned, I sometimes feel like I’m falling behind.
Even when I know there’s a perfectly good reason for slowing down.
Even when my children need me.
Even when my family needs me.
Even when I need myself.
It’s almost as though we believe we have to justify our need to rest.
That we have to reach a certain level of exhaustion before we’re allowed to stop.
But why?
Why do we feel guilty for taking care of ourselves?
Why do we measure our worth by how much we’ve accomplished?
And why do we sometimes forget that simply being present in our own lives is valuable too?
These are questions I don’t necessarily have all the answers to.
But I do know that the past two weeks have helped me begin looking at things differently.
Being Present Is an Achievement Too
One of the things I enjoyed most about the school holidays was simply being able to focus on my children.
Not having to divide my attention between them and a hundred other things.
Not constantly checking what needed to be done next.
Just being their mum.
And I know that might sound simple, but I think sometimes we underestimate how meaningful those moments really are.
Our children are growing.
Our families are changing.
Life is moving forward whether we’re paying attention or not.
And while I absolutely believe women can have ambitions, build businesses, pursue careers and achieve incredible things alongside motherhood, I also believe we’re allowed to have seasons when those ambitions take a little less of our attention.
That doesn’t mean we’re giving up.
It doesn’t mean we’re losing ourselves.
And it certainly doesn’t mean we’re failing.
It simply means we’re recognising what needs us most in that moment.
For me, during those two weeks, that was my family.
And instead of fighting against that, I chose to embrace it.
I allowed myself to enjoy the time.
I allowed myself to put work aside.
And I reminded myself that everything I was working towards would still be waiting for me when I returned.
Because sometimes, the most meaningful thing we can do isn’t something that can be measured by productivity.
Sometimes it’s being available for a conversation.
Sometimes it’s spending an afternoon with our children.
Sometimes it’s showing up for a family member who is struggling.
And sometimes it’s simply giving ourselves room to breathe.
Rest Doesn’t Have to Be Earned
I think one of the biggest misconceptions we carry as women is that rest is something we have to earn.
We tell ourselves we’ll rest when the house is clean.
When the children are settled.
When the work is finished.
When we’ve reached our next goal.
But the reality is, there will almost always be something else waiting.
Another load of washing.
Another appointment.
Another responsibility.
Another task that needs our attention.
And if we keep waiting for everything to be completed before allowing ourselves to rest, we may never actually give ourselves that opportunity.
I think this is particularly important for mothers.
Because motherhood doesn’t come with a clock-off time.
There isn’t always a clear beginning and end to our responsibilities.
And for many women, even when we’re physically sitting down, our minds are still running through everything that needs to happen next.
But we’re human.
We have limitations.
We experience exhaustion.
We need moments of stillness.
And we deserve to acknowledge those needs without feeling as though we’re letting someone down.
As Muslim women, we also have the beautiful reminder that our bodies, our time and the blessings Allah has given us are an amanah — a trust.
Taking care of ourselves is part of honouring that trust.
And while Islam encourages us to work hard, fulfil our responsibilities and strive towards goodness, it also teaches us balance.
We can have ambition and tawakkul.
We can make plans and trust Allah’s timing.
We can work towards our goals while recognising that we cannot control every part of the journey.
And sometimes, that means accepting that our plans may need to change.
Not because we’ve failed, but because life is asking something different of us.
Coming Back With a Clearer Mind
Now that the school holidays have finished, I feel like I’ve been given an opportunity to reset.
Not because all my responsibilities have disappeared.
Not because my business is suddenly running perfectly.
And definitely not because I’ve figured out how to balance every part of my life.
I haven’t.
And I don’t think I ever will have everything perfectly balanced.
There will still be challenging days.
There will still be moments when I feel overwhelmed.
There will still be times when my work requires more of me, and times when my family needs to come first.
But what has changed is the way I want to approach those moments.
I want to be kinder to myself.
I want to acknowledge what I’ve accomplished instead of constantly focusing on what I haven’t.
I want to continue growing Mamacub Wellness without feeling as though I have to race towards every milestone.
And most importantly, I want to remember that the life I’m living today deserves just as much appreciation as the future I’m working towards.
Because the truth is, I am proud of what I’m building.
I’m proud of the women I’ve supported.
I’m proud of the knowledge I’m continuing to develop.
And I’m proud that I’m creating something that aligns with my values, my faith and my family.
But I also want to be proud of the moments when I choose to slow down.
When I recognise that I need a break.
When I allow myself to be present.
And when I choose not to push myself simply because I feel like I should.
A Reminder for the Woman Who Feels Like She’s Falling Behind
If you’ve made it this far, I want to speak directly to you for a moment.
Maybe you’re in a season where everything feels overwhelming.
Maybe you’re trying to manage motherhood while working towards something important to you.
Maybe you feel like everyone around you is progressing while you’re standing still.
Or maybe you’ve been so busy looking after everyone else that you haven’t stopped to ask yourself how you’re actually doing.
I want you to remember something.
Your progress doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
You don’t have to achieve everything at once.
You don’t have to constantly prove that you’re doing enough.
And you don’t have to feel guilty for recognising that you need a break.
There will be seasons when you have the energy to push forward.
Seasons when you’re learning, growing and accomplishing things you once thought were impossible.
But there may also be seasons when simply getting through the day requires everything you have.
And those seasons matter too.
Because life isn’t just about the milestones we reach.
It’s also about the moments we experience along the way.
The people we love.
The relationships we nurture.
The memories we create.
And the way we care for ourselves through it all.
I think sometimes we become so focused on becoming the woman we want to be that we forget to appreciate the woman we already are.
And perhaps that’s something we all need to be reminded of occasionally.
Moving Forward, One Season at a Time
As I step into this next school term, I’m excited about what’s ahead.
I have plans for Mamacub Wellness.
I have women I’m looking forward to supporting.
I have courses I’m continuing to create.
And I have goals that I’m still incredibly passionate about achieving.
But I’m also approaching this next chapter with a little more understanding of myself.
I know I can’t do everything at once.
I know there will be times when things don’t go according to plan.
And I know that sometimes I’ll need to step away, regroup and begin again.
And I’m learning that there’s nothing wrong with that.
Because success, to me, isn’t simply about building a thriving business.
It’s about building a life that feels meaningful.
A life where I can support other women while still being present for my own family.
A life where I can pursue my ambitions without constantly sacrificing my wellbeing.
And a life where I can recognise the blessings Allah has placed in front of me instead of always searching for the next thing.
Alhamdulillah, I’m grateful for these past two weeks.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to spend time with my children.
I’m grateful that I could be there for my family.
And I’m grateful that I allowed myself to take a break without feeling like I needed to justify it.
Because sometimes, the reset we need isn’t about changing our entire lives.
Sometimes it’s simply about giving ourselves permission to stop, breathe and remember what matters.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s exactly what you need too.
With love,
Casey 🤍
Founder of Mamacub Wellness
Host of The Audacious Noor Podcast
Continue the Conversation
If this reflection resonated with you, I’d love for you to listen to Episode 14 of The Audacious Noor
The Reset I Didn’t Know I Needed,
where I share more about my experience of stepping away from work, navigating the mental load of running a business and learning to give myself permission to rest.
And before you go, I’d love for you to reflect on one question:
When was the last time you allowed yourself to rest without feeling guilty about everything you weren’t doing?
Perhaps it’s time to give yourself that permission.
The Audacious Noor
Courage • Confidence • Becoming
